Now that you’ve thought about your goals and ordered them according to importance, it’s time to consider what actions will get you there. Consider small actions so easy there is no excuse not to do them. I often hear people complain that small is not enough, or “nothing works,” though I guarantee these individuals did not give it a go for very long! Small, positive actions each day will build into big progress over time!There is a motivational quote that fits here, and it goes something like this… “Reaching your goals is hard, don’t make it harder by giving up.”
Building off the Revitalized for 2019 exercise, here are some actionable ideas to help get your creative mind flowing and stimulate your own ideas toward positive change, specifically regarding your relationships…
- Take 5 minutes each morning to have a brief check-in with your partner – say good morning, smile (even if some days you have to force it), and ask what they have going on today.
- Try the 6-second hug or kiss. A quick kiss or hug in the morning is something, but if you hold it to the count of 6, you will feel that much closer and a little more warm and fuzzy… John Gottman created this method (he’s worth checking out for more help in the relationship department!)
- If you feel constantly guilty because you don’t make enough time for your family, take 5-10 minutes out of your day to send a simple text, email, or make a quick call. I promise a phone call to mom beginning with “I only have a quick moment but wanted to say hi” will be much appreciated. Yes, I know she would like to talk for an hour, but something is better than nothing and it’s the thought that counts. Don’t let the fear of a lengthy conversation stop you from making the call… you are an adult and you can control your boundaries and time!And, if you really think you cannot, a simple… “Hey dad, just thinking of you this morning. Love you!” will work just fine.
- As busy parents, it is easy to let life get in the way of being mindfully and emotionally present for our kids. Yes, we spend the majority of time doing forour kids, but that is different than really doing things withour kids. Your kids actually don’t need that much of your undivided time – 10 minutes to sit down and play with them, read to them, look at them and have a conversation goes a long way. 10-20 minutes a day (or most days) is all kids really need to feel connected. Bedtimes work great for this, as a time to read, tuck in, talk about the day. The trick is to compartmentalize your mind during this time– for 10-20 minutes everything else can wait… that is really no time at all and your relationship with your kids will benefit!
- If you tend to give your kids too much of your undivided time, at the expense of getting things done for you, lose the guilt and take back some time for the other things you need. Your kids can be present and doing their own thing – very good for kids and learning independence – while you do your thing. And when the kids are in bed, put away chores and tasks for the night and relax!
- Similar to family, make that call, send a text, and actually make a plan with a date and time to get together!
Our relationships are vital to our wellbeing and our success with goals like weight loss and weight maintenance. We are highly impacted by our relationships – the one we have, the one we want, whether they are going well or not… Making an actionable step toward improving whichever relationships are most important to you will improve your mood and confidence, take some of that nagging “I need to be in better touch with this person” off your mind, and free up more mental space for other wellness goals!