Tag Archives: positive

How to be ‘Good Selfish’

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I’m going to pretend I coined that phrase ‘Good Selfish’. I haven’t heard it anywhere before and I used it to answer a message I received today. If you said it/say it…fine, just let me live in my bubble. ;)

Seriously though, do you get what I mean by that? I mean that it’s ok to take care of you first! It’s ok to carve out ‘me time’ in your daily schedule to take care of you whether it’s to exercise, read or just be alone with your thoughts. Goodness it’s even ok to do all three! Time and time again we are told not to be selfish, to put others first, to give up our wishes and desires so that others can have theirs. Does this sound right to you? When does it become your time!?!

As children we are told to be selfish is a bad thing and in a lot of cases it is. To be concerned with yourself above all others or lacking any consideration for others is, well, selfish. What I am saying is we should do for ourselves just as good as we do for others. If you don’t take care of you how the hell can you expect to take care of anyone else. If you run yourself ragged supporting and pacifying your family, what’s left for you at the end of the day?

I have learned over the years that it is ok to take time to nurture me. I workout, I eat well and I foster personal growth so that I can be healthy enough to help my family when I am needed. I have the mental and physical energy needed to support the family unit. It took me a lot of years to get here but now that I realize life will not fall apart around me just because I chose to look after me, I will never look back.

life is all about balance…

I wish there was a magic pill to give to every person out there with low self-esteem; to teach them to take care of themselves first, to respect themselves enough to treat themselves well. If we all loved our own selves just think of the love we could share with everyone else! This is hard to do…to love our selves I mean. It makes us feel uncomfortable and self-conscious to be confident when really it’s ok to project these qualities. Those that reject this haven’t evolved emotionally yet, those that respect this have a good sense of self. Those are the people you want to surround yourself with! Now go out there and be ‘good selfish’ ;) .

You only have one life, when will you choose to live it? I chose, now it’s your turn.

how have you changed to be ‘good selfish’?

share how you take care of you so that you are able to take care of others

in ‘good selfish’ and health

Denise ♥

 

Body Image and positive thoughts :)

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I’d like to address the age old issue of body image. I know it has been talked about to death but we are still struggling to find a way for people, women in particular, to achieve a positive outlook on their bodies.

I’ll start with me. I suffered (suffer?) from poor body image all my life. I remember being in high school and always wanting to be 10 lbs lighter, that if I was smaller I would have this amazing life. I weighed 125lbs then and at 5’4′ I was not big! But the other girls were smaller…I was not emotionally intelligent enough then to consider bone structure, body type etc. That my hip width had nothing to do with fat but with actual bone size. So much wasted energy went into obsessing about my weight that I sometimes forgot to have fun. :(

When I was in high school there was no facebook, youtube, texting, nothing except TV and movies. I cannot imagine how the young girls manage with all this social media adding to an already obsessed world of what our bodies should look like. With sites popping up like anorexia facebook/youtube channels, a “do you think I’m ugly” site on youtube!!! I think we are regressing rather than moving toward a more positive outlook.

I will add that this is not exclusively a girl problem. I know boys/men do obsess about their bodies too. As a matter of fact one of my boys went through a bulimic phase in high school. Thankfully it was short lived but still serious and worrisome! Most men are just not as open as women are about their obsessions.

I have only recently begun to take charge of how I treat my body so that I can be the best ME that I can be…not an image on a photoshopped magazine cover, not the actress  that works full time on keeping her body in shape, not someone else’s opinion of ‘body beautiful’ , my opinion should be the only one that counts for me. In the last few years I have made some dramatic changes in my diet and exercise routines. A few things I have changed are- stopped drinking soda, juice(except my own smoothies of course), cleaned out 85-90% of the processed foods that come into the house, and shook up my fitness. I now vary my work outs to include HIIT, running, yoga and fitness classes. Doing so confuses the muscles; doing the same thing over and over does not challenge your muscles so they become conditioned to the repeated moves. You really do need to switch it up every 6 weeks to continue to see changes.

I have worked hard on how I think about myself and I believe this is the key to positive self image as hokey or zen-like it sounds…everyday think about what your body does for you. How you can walk, run, play, think, feel, love. Everytime those negative thoughts start seeping into your consciousness, consciously push them out with a positive thought. I will be the first to tell you that this is not easy, but then is anything worth persuing ever easy? I still lament about the stretch marks and tiny pouch across my belly, but then I think of the two wonderful grown sons that were once nourished within that same belly and my thoughts turn to happiness that my body was able to do that! Then I focus on the cellulite all up and down my legs but will  force myself to think that these same legs help me cross the finish line in a local race and allowed me to feel exhilerated at my accomplishment.

If only one of you reading today can find enlightenment in this post and change the way you think and feel about your body then I have accomplished something far greater then toning my legs! I hope we can all continuely grow in mind and body, to accept ourselves as we are or to make positive changes for the right reasons. If you are overweight then take the steps toward better health by cleaning up your diet but use positive thoughts and messages to do it. If you are not exercising, then start an at home work out, join a gym, or start a walking routine to get stronger so that you can live your fullest life…but do it with positive thoughts about what your body can do, not what it can’t do.

There are a ton of places to get motivation from these days. I have a facebook page – https://www.facebook.com/fitpsychology- that people follow for inspiration and tips. I then follow lots of other FB pages to get my inspiration and tips. We all love to be healthy, help others become healthy and offer words of encouragement. You can also use magazines for health and fitness tips (ignore the airbrushed pictures) and of course your doctor should always be able to assist you in living YOUR best life. Good Luck! :)

do you have a healthy body image?

leave comments on how you have changed your way of thinking to achieve a healthy body image.

in positive thoughts and health

Denise

Mean Girls (and guys)

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**Psychological projection or projection bias is a psychological defense mechanism where a person subconsciously denies his or her own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, usually to other people. Thus, projection involves imagining or projecting the belief that others originate those feelings.

I need to vent! >:(

I have a face book page that promotes this site as most bloggers do. These pages are a way to seek out information quickly, make new ‘friends’ and generally support one another…until someone doesn’t. By this I mean the trolls…those people that have nothing better to do than to project their pent up negative feelings onto others who are just trying to invite people to get and stay healthy. This hasn’t happened to me personally (yet?) but it has happened twice in the last week to two of the pages I follow. I’m certain with the thousands and thousands of pages this happens multiple times daily. I’m talking specifically fitness/healthy eating pages but I’m sure it happens on oh say, knitting pages too!

One girl was accused of promoting anorexia on her site because she has a fit looking physique. :

  • “Some of you have asked me, what happened? Long story short I recieved a few emails from a young woman, who was very upset with me. She said that I promoted an unhealthy body imag…e. That I am being very irresponsible by posting the pictures I post, cause they make people like her feel inadequate, and ashamed. She also mentioned that I should be careful, she felt I could cause women to turn to bulimia, or become anorexic…. WOW! right?! I cried, guys… I started to question myself, my confidence was a little shaken. I felt attacked and misunderstood.”

    https://www.facebook.com/FitnessChicks

    All I see in the above photo is something to aspire too, I see no anorexia, no negative image at all. I see beautiful, powerful women who are promoting the way to a more healthy, fit, confidant you. The poster said it all herself “cause they make people like her feel inadequate, and ashamed” See what I meant about projecting???

    We, the FB page people are not responsible for how you feel about yourself. I get that people have low self esteem…I use to suffer from it myself but I would never attack someone else for living their healthiest life because I felt inadequate! Quite the opposite. I decided to follow their example and be the best ME I could be. I am still working on it and decided to share what I know and do with others. These pages are just one of the many ways we can find information on getting and staying healthy. None of us claim to be experts, unless they are, and we just want people to take ownership of their lives and get healthy for themselves because we know from our own experience how good you can feel.

    The biggest attack I saw/followed/was amazed at was on BodyRock.TV. This is a fantastic web site that has taken working out at home to an all new level. They post monday to friday workouts, update their FB pages regularly with upbeat, super supportive comments and generally promote good health and well being. The Bodyrock site went through a huge transition period in Oct 2011 when the co-founders divorced and went their separate ways. Freddy took over the site on his own and had to revamp the w/o schedule, look for a new BR host, even having his brother step in, as the ‘wife’ was the original host. Then Lisa came on board and the site has been rocking ever since! and Sean has continued to host as well. Throughout this transition the site, and all of their FB pages had such vicious attacks that even I had to pause and wonder if I could continue following as all the negative talk was wearing. Really? You’re bad mouthing a stranger on his failed marriage? On a fitness site? REALLY??? I chose to ignore the comments and scroll to the W/O’s. I cannot even imagine what they went through! Freddy did the right thing by simply blocking the haters and deleting comments etc all the while never once resorting to defensive backtalk. He just plugged along, making the site even better for us followers and healing himself. AND, he provides this all for free! Yes, he gets paid every time we visit the site- he has good advertisers-but the point is he could very easily charge the users a fee, but he doesn’t.

    http://www.bodyrock.tv/

    https://www.facebook.com/BodyRock.Tv?ref=ts

    My point to this rant is -this age of ‘hiding behind a keyboard’ mentality needs to stop. We need to pause before we type…think – “would I say this to their face?” Probably not! The computer has given the cowards a voice. and it will never stop :( That’s what the ‘block this poster’ button is for I guess.

    What do you think about posting negative comments? 

    Do you think just because someone has a page that we open ourselves up to attack?

    in positive comments and health

    Denise