I’ve written a blog on how it’s ok to be ‘Good Selfish’ but there is also a time for us to sacrifice our own time and/or wishes for another. I did just that on Thursday night. I was walking out the door when my gut told me to take one more look back at my husband and something just didn’t sit right. I could have ignored the feeling, and trust me a part of me wanted to because I really wanted to trail run! However, I just asked, “Do you need me to stay home?”. Of course his natural response was to say “no, no, you go, I’m fine”. Then he quietly said “well, you could stay home…”. Before I go any further and before you think he was being selfish, I need to impress upon you that he never restricts me from doing anything and I love that about him. Of course I stayed home and I am happy I did. Sometimes we just need a little company.
There is nothing like a re-direction and this felt like one of those times. Instead of staying home though, I told him if I am not running then we are going to go do something. We settled for a walk on the beach! So off we went with the dog for a walk. It turned into one of the most pleasant evenings we have had in a long time and he really did appreciate my sacrifice. Of course Lily loved it too she is such a water hound. We chatted with some folks and enjoyed each others company.
It was an evening of healthy conversation and time well spent…together, as it should be.
Don’t be afraid that you will appear weak if you occasionally give in to another’s wishes. Sometimes we end up with a better experience than our original plan. I do know that if I hadn’t stayed home, I would have thought about it for the whole run anyway!
The only time you should be concerned is if the other person continually asks you to do what they want to do and you give up doing what you want and need to do for yourself. That is a surefire way of losing who you are. That is when it becomes unhealthy and you give away too much of your control.
Striking that balance in your relationships is not always easy but it certainly is important to try to obtain it. I am including not just your partner, I also mean your children, your friends, your co-workers; anyone in your life that means something to you. The give and take of a mutually respectful relationship allows us to walk the tight rope of doing what we need for ourselves and being there when someone needs us. ♥